male,female,mars,venus......

This has been a topic in my mind for a long time, ever since I learnt the meaning of the word feminism. Or rather, the meaning that it has aquired over the years. Beer's post triggered it up again and serves as inspiration for this post. For long, this word has been used synonomously with celebration of womenhood and equality among the two sexes. Somewhere along the line though, I feel that the movement lost a little objectivity. Anyone who uses this term or way of life as some call it, with respect to social issues like female infanticide or dowry or matrimonial terrorizing, has my complete support and sympathy. It's not the same though, when you address issues such as pressure cooker and washing machine commercials and women. A while ago, there was this huge uproar about the objectification of women and how we sell everything from beer to toothpaste to condoms using female models. Objectification- that's a tough word, one which has almost exclusively been used as what a man does with respect to women. That's a pretty strong accusation, if you ask me. Why is the male animal alone accused of such a crime. I write animal specifically, because I think it is very pertinant. Objectification of the sexes, fair and otherwise, is to a certain extent a biological process. The peahen chooses the peacock with the prettiest plumage. And a host of other species do it too. As a rule, when men objectify women, the criteria become a lot more physical. Isnt that a biological concept too? It's the way male and female bodies are supposed to function. I am not advocating full fledged male adoration of the female body. That's where your brain is supposed to kick in. After the initial pheromone rush. Thats' when you balance out the physical objectification with other characterstics which contribute to the woman as a whole.
Women do it too. Maybe our criteria are less physical. But they can be just as sexist. Infact our basis of selectivity is more set in stone. I personally believe that the average intelligent man can look beyond the physical aspect.
Again, this is not to say that I'm endorsing complete sexual objectification of either ofthe sexes. As for everything else, soceity has norms and limits. That is what I think the key issue is. Limits. Those decided by society, and more personally, by individuals. Limits, which can be as varied as possible depending on the sensibilities of all the individuals involved.
I might have digressed. I might have even gone completely against the norm and become anti feminist.(what is the opposite of a feminist? masculinist?)
The last line is this though. Let's not get too mired in deciding who the stronger sex is, in establishing equality in every single which way.
Man and woman were created differently. For a reason. And I dont just mean procreation. I'd rather embrace the differences and enjoy them.

Antardhwani-the band

You know it’s been too long since u've written when you forget the password to your own blog spot...
Still, two things have prompted me to get back to my blog...
1. Amrit blogrolled me. he has this fancy web page(not blog mind you!!!), where he has all kinds of cool stuff, writing, photos, music, band stuff....so when I saw my name on it, the egotist in me woke up and said, well if someone went to all that trouble, might as well....
2. I'm writing my proposal and it is the worst kind of torture that graduate school hands out to you. There are just so many different ways you can talk about a decrease in intracellualr calcium in anergic T cells......but I can't stop typing coz I start feeling guilty. So I'm going to vary my thought process a little and scribble on my blog a little while. And Arrch and Shrim, my faithful blog followers will have to read it:)
So summer's gone and autumn's almost over too. (the fall colors are gorgeous this year though.)I've been working almost the entire of summer and so life has been pretty boring except for a few parties where I played up my interesting side by loading myself with alcohol..:)(I've decided that my parents don't need to know about this blog anymore, so that I can give free reign to my creativity:))
And my long unfulfilled dream of singing on stage got fulfilled too. It might probably be the last opportunity for me, but I so thoroughly enjoyed myself. Antardhwani is a band of graduate students in UMD, and have been making great music for the past year or so. Their lead female singer graduated and got a job in some other city, so I got roped in to perform for the Indian Grad Students Diwali celebration. And, it was pretty awesome...I'm going to try and upload the webpage for the band, where they have a lot of the recorded songs, some of them original compositions which are very nice to listen to. So go ahead and try listening to them. The songs don't feature me in them though, since I am very new in the band.
Here it is.
Antardhwani-The sound within
Wow, I actually managed to do it. So, go and listen….

Critic Bashing

Recently, rediff.com asked its readers to critique Dilwale Dulhaniya le Jayenge, one of my favourite movies. Since, now, I'm forever looking for blog opportunities, it set me thinking about the finer aspects of the movie which make it so enduring. It also brought to my mind again, what I have always felt. I hate movie critics. A movie critic is the best example of a non job. Who dosen't critique a movie after they've watched it? So why should there be a bunch of people paid by god knows who critiquing a particular movie for you, and telling you whether its worth watching or not. And its amazing how much power these yahoos wield. I know so many people who will base watching a movie on the review. So much money involved in making a movie, (which I think calls for an entirely new blog by itself, where is there so much money to make so many stupid movies?), and with a few minutes of typing, a critic can influence a whole section of people to not watch the movie.
Of course, we cant all go watch all the drivel that's been churned out, so we need some kind of information about the movie, but to totally rip a film apart, 2 hours after its release is inhuman.
And who are these esteemed movie critics? Atleast with regard to the hindi film industry, they are the ass kissers of the rich and famous. Of the influential people in the industry. So whatever they do, good or bad, needs to be praised to the high heavens, using adjectives you'll need a dictionary to decode. Of course, if it is a film by a person who, god forbid, rubbed them the wrong way, it is completely trashed.

http://www.nowrunning.com/cgi-bin/movies/brideAndPrejudice.asp

The link above is an example of how an entirely insipid film with the most wooden and irritating performances can be propped up and hyped up by the reviewer.

Anyway, I have decided that the only reviews I will even consider thinking about are the viewer reviews. The discerning audience who critique the technical aspects of the movie, who genuinely like or dislike the performances in the movie, not how much the star pays them to be their personal PR machine.

my bullet blog

Yeah, that was lame.. But I really couldn't think of anything else to call this blog. I've been blog surfing a lot nowadays and must say I've been amazed at the number of interesting blogs I have read. Such well informed, well researched blogs, made me a little conscious that I was a part of this community too.
One of my friends once told me she loves speaking to people she doesnt know on the school shuttle, because she gets to learn so many new things. Makes sense. But hey, if you really want to know more about people and what they think, I say, start blog surfing. If only I were a little more technically competent I would put up a list of the blog spots I frequently visit,at least just for myself, so I dont have to always get into my page, and navigate through blogs of poeple I know, to their links. But I guess in its own way, that's a lot of fun too. I have discovered so many new blogs on my way over to a certain page I wanted. Now I'm going to have to write my blog maps down somewhere...

For anybody wondering( if at all anybody other than me reads this) what the connection to the topic and the ramblings above is, well there is none.. those were just my random ramblings.....
But I was watching TV the other day, american idol to be precise and these things just randomly popped up into my mind...and the following content of the blog is what is relevant to the topic.... ha ha...

things we wouldnt have had in life if not for america

(ahhhhhhhh.....now I have to change my topic.. I cannot find bullets on my options.... so.. please adjust...assume this (-) were a bullet if you will)

- peanuts/peanut butter in chocolates
- F.R.I.E.N.D.S (the first 5 seasons, the others are ok, but dont feature in my there's no show as good as this one list)
- humor about body parts, body functions and body waste..( eww right, and to think when I was in india,the trend was to only watch american shows, american movies, because everything indian was so passe... though almost in contradiction, FRIENDS is the ultimate funny sitcom ever...)
- whassup? ( I used to hate it when i initially came here, but its grown on me now....)
- reality TV.....(what mroe do I say)
- parvez musharraf's ego.( confession: I looked up his spelling on google.)
- outsourcing :) ( I read this really good couple of blogs by this blogger called M about outsourcing and the blogs and its comments were really mindblowing..pretty much what I was talking about at the start of my blog. Again, if I were more techno savvy, I could have provided the link here, but sadly, and yeah I know how very very sad it is, getting my own blog spot is the extent of my computer abilities)
- american football. where feet and ball go together for about 1 hundredth of the game...the other 99 parts are all players falling over each other. Ok so I know its more than that.. but that's the jist of it right? I think they only named it football so they could rename tradional football which is all about feet and the ball and call it soccer and then make fun of the people who do call it right...
I was watching the episode of friends yesterday when Ross kids around with the 2 british guys about football and soccer...with his wierd accent.. (season 4). That's the reference for this one....

Well, can't think of anything else right now..
Thats enough of the most random blog ever I think....

M&B mania

I love romance novels. There, I've said it.. Out loud to the world.
Mind you, this is not such an innocuous statement as it seems. Most people who I've said this to or who do know that I like reading this genre of books have always looked at me with mild amusement bordering on scorn. Many a times, friends of mine, my brother included who do not like these books have asked me why I read them. A lot of people do not understand why there are so many people who read books which have no surprise element in them,( seriously I will eat the book if anyone can show me a romance novel in which the main protaganists do not come together at the end), which all have variations of a very similar theme and do nothing whatsoever to increase your knowledge or stimulate your intellectual brain cells.
Which set me wondering. Why do I read them? The way I describe these books it would seem like I'm part of the M&B hating bandwagon too. But there must be something in them to induce such a big loyal fan following. And a huge reader base it definitely has. If you've ever wandered into a public library, you will definitely see that the most space allocated to any genre of books will be for romance novels... shelves and shelves of it.( much to the disgust of the "serious" reader I'm sure)
They certainly don't have an engrossing plot. I have read books which pretty much have the same story line and the same ending(duh!)with just different character profiles.
Like one of my friends wondered, do I put myself in the heroine's shoes and dream about my life being just as romantic? Well no, I dont think so, I dont envison myself being kidnapped by a greek business tycoon, or being a seceratary and falling in love with my boss, or meeting my child's father after years of estrangement and falling in love all over again.(all oft repeated and well loved themes)
I still do like reading them......
Because they are 150 pages long and take an hour tops to finish and therefore satisfy your craving for reading without eating into all your other activities. "Ooh I cant do anything else before I find out who killed the president"..... Oh no, that aint gonna happen here...
Because all said and done, it is nice to know that however stupid two people are in love, however impossible circumstances seem to be, they always end up together, which I guess makes the romantic in me all gooey and gushy..(the cynic in me is laughing all the while though)
Because, quite simply I'm addicted to them. I started reading them in high school and my love affair continues till date.
I think everybody needs an addiction. To take your mind of the seriousness of everyday life. When your brain's buzzing with work and how to solve the world's energy crisis, you need something frivolous to take your mind off it for a while, so your brain cells are more energized for the next day. To tackle all the mundanities of life. To not be jaded and tired of your work. To make you appreciate your more seious choices a little more.
And hey its a nice addiction too.... isnt too expensive on your wallet, demands very little and,
best of all....

It won't kill you.

Friends for Life

The first time I saw Shrim, she was on a rickshaw in front of me, with her father. A transparent plastic bag in which I could see an empty diet coke can, a hair brush and some knick knacks.I didn't think she was my type at all. She had signed up just before me, so we got to share a room in our first year and then chose to, in the second year. I have often wondered, how life would have turned out if there had been someone else who had signed up in between both of us. I would have probably made friends with her, had a whole bunch of different rommmate experiences, but now.. six years down the line, after being the best of friends, its scary to think something so innocous could have changed a very meaningful relationship in my life. We were roommates in our first year, not by choice, but oh how wonderfully it worked out. The 3 o clock conversations, the room decorations sessions, the PTM play dissections,gate calls, phone calls. That's a whole shoe box full of memories....... and then some.....
Of course, there were the missed opportunities, the write up I couldnt read, the fights that I couldnt help... the wedding I cant go to....
but at the end of it all I know, she will be there for me always, just as she knows that I will be there for her too.
She is the best roommate I could have ever have asked for.....

And then there's Arrchana..we would have been amazing roommates too.. if not for the fact that we might have killed each other during the ever frequent arguments and fights. We differ on a lot of things.A lot of our opinions are on quite the opposite ends of the spectrum. But it would not be exaggeration to say that I respect her enormously. For the go getter that she is and the opportunities that she has converted into successes. For being one of my very best friends. Again for being one of those people who I can rely on any time...

I have known both these people for six years now. We met at BITS Pilani, which was home to us for 4 years. Fresh out of school and away from home for the first time, with the heady feeling of independence dominating most of my thought and actions, and extremely vulnerable, this is where I met a lot of people who now form my criss cross of relationships. They were part of my growing up process, have played some key roles in moulding my adult personality, to make who I am today. Some good, some bad, these snapshots of memory will stay with me forever. And out of those relationships have been the ones which have endured the passage of time, people who I have carried along with, in these 2 years after BITS. And some very important people like Shrim, Arrch, Kopal, Krithi, Devu, Niths, Anviti, Swati........

Even if we dont live in the same wing anymore, or even in the same country anymore, I know that there are people out there, who in the middle of their work day are smiling a little smile just meant for me, people who I will carry in my heart forever, because they are, friends for life.

The Royal Indian Fourth Estate

Recent happenings in India have alarmed me.

The bollywood casting couch expose for one. Its not that the syndrome exists which really has affected me. If we for a minute forget about the issue itself and focus on the way it has been handled, and concieved, that was what alarmed me more.

How can secretely videotaping someone be justfied? Have we really lost all sense of propriety? I don't know if it is entirely true but isnt it even inadmissible in court to use hidden recording testimonies?

How than is this issue getting such muted coverage. Every where you turn all news reports talk about is the man involved, opinions on his character, infuriated comments by the high profile and powerful people he spoke about, his family, his friends, his dog.....

Why is there no extensive coverage about the news channel which mediated this flagrant invasion of personal privacy and with no fear at all talks about so many more exposes in the near future?

I have to admit though, that my understanding about the whole situation is from the electronic media and whatever bits and pieces of information I can gather sitting at my computer. But the feeble condemnation of the channel's activities even in the country's more respectable news publications seems very obligatory.

Have we really elevated the journalistic community to such heights in our country that whatever they do has to be accepted and condoned?

It is sadder still to see how skewed news reports have become based on the publication's predilictions, political or otherwise.

What does one go to get all the facts when news reports have all become editorials?

Do we then just surf channels till we hit the one which "presents" to you news which best suits your opinions and slants?

It reminds me of a short story Jefferey Archer wrote with different variations so we could read the one which we liked best.

Rare, medium, well done, burnt..................